When it rains it (deluges great heaping piles of migraine floods) pours

Life can really feel like so much muchness sometimes. Looking, looking, looking for work. I pitched a few story ideas to the Editor of the Magazine that I’ve been working part-time (small fry) for (wow – five years now!). She accepted one of the pitches, which is a very bright spot right now.
Right now my grandparents are soon to move here from North Carolina. I am to assist them in finding their dream assisted living facility (oxymoron?) for my sweet grandfather has Alzheimer’s disease and my grandmother needs help to care for him.
Right now we have zero money.
Right now my younger son needs to have an MRI to check to see if he has a medical issue that my older son suffered through at exactly the same age.
Right now I’m waiting to hear from the principal at my children’s school on whether he would consider hiring me as the school’s Media Specialist (Librarian). I’d like to say that I’m not holding my breath but then you would see that I’m lying, as my face turns blue.
That job – while it would not further my writing career - would solve so many problems at once that it makes my head spin. I love books, I love kids, I love my kids’ school, I love a school schedule because it is the same schedule as my kids’, and I love that a consistent paycheck would give our family the relief we so desperately need.
Trouble is, I think that a.) There are a lot of out of work teachers out there who would be better qualified for the job b.) I would need to go back to school while working full-time to get the 30 extra credit hours I need to be certified to be the an educational Media Specialist.
All I can do is my very best and pray that it’s what God has in mind.

Dork Incorporated

Here is my head (shot).

Yes, I know why it’s called a “head shot” but you know (head smack). I just have to think about it a little bit more. Doing this did feel like shot in the head – like I am big dorky dorkington. My friend Laura (visit her on blogspot at Seahorse Studios! ) is a sweetheart and I think she has the patience of a saint. I kept sticking my tongue out and making stupid faces. The whole experience made me wonder if I’m really ready for jobs with grown-ups.

Get over yourself.

One of the saddest things about hunting for a job is realizing that there are jobs out there that I don’t even want to do, applying for them anyway, and not even getting a phone call. Ugh. Today, I sent a resume in to be a church secretary. Oh man. Talk about beggars can’t be choosers. However, the hours are right (no childcare needed), the church is about three blocks away and there is a tiny bit of publication work in the form of newsletters, bulletins, and other church publications. Now, I’m thinking, I don’t know anyone who has moved on from working at a church to a major publishing house or ad agency. I’m thinking, how awesome will it be to introduce myself to my husband’s banker cohorts as a ‘church secretary’? (As awesome as saying I’m a stay-at-home-mom. Conversational arsenic.) I’m thinking, Self, are you just applying for this position so that you don’t have to go after what you really want and are too chicken to reach out there and grab it? Then I say, SELF! Who says you can’t do both? Our financial situation has reached a precipice so frightening that pride is a luxury I cannot afford. I could do this job and still, in whatever tiny corner in my day I could find, eek out a little bit of creativity.
Any bets on whether they will even call me for an interview?

I'm Ready For My Close-Up

So. My kids come home from school and, being the overbearing mother that I am, we sit down right away and have a snack and do homework. I’ve tried the “lets run off some steam first” approach. I’ve tried the “let’s do it after dinner so daddy can help too” approach. There is no better method than immediate tackle – and yet. There are rarely days that we escape homework time without a tear shed, small fists pounding, sand poured on the heads, rent sackcloth.
Today, I feel like my kids at homework time.
I have to do what?!
I have spent three hours the past two days on a strict job search (no Facebook! No Twitter!). Guess what? I have applied for two jobs! TWO. My friend Corinne (remember her from waaaayyyy back before the summer?) had said that I needed to look into Creative Hiring Agencies (and Linkedin!). Today I signed on to Creatives on Call and Qualified Creatives. Guess what? They want a picture! (so does Linkedin!). I paged through my iphoto archives. Guess what? I took all the pictures.
Fortunately, just like everyone is a writer these days, so is everyone a photographer. I am going to give my friend Laura a call and have her take a few “I am a writer” shots so that I may knock off some socks.

Relauch This!

O.k. so.
According to “Relaunch” professionals (and my friend Jessica), I needed to get myself over to www.linkedin.com and set myself up. So I did that.
Now, back to this “Relaunch” thing. I read Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-At-Home-Moms Who Want to Return to Work by Carol Fishman Cohen and Vivian Steir Rabin. (V-8 Smack: shoulda wrote a book about It! – let’s relaunch by writing a book about relaunching!). The website http://www.irelaunch.com/ attached to the book has lots of helpful hints. Loads. It’s jam-packed!
For people who used to have an awesome career they would like to rejoin.
For example: “Mary Spectacular was the Chief Executive Blah Blah at Such in Such Inc. She took two years off to stay home with her twin daughters and is now ready to relaunch her career.” Mary’s worried about how her workplace has advanced since she’s been out. (Will her two MBAs apply?) She’s in touch with former colleagues but only through Facebook so they can see how blessed adorable her twins are. She’s hemming and hawing. Should she or shouldn’t she go back?
You know, Mary, save it.
I had barely scraped out of an internship when I left the work force. I have ONE career reference from before I had my first child (it was all retail and reception before that!) and have only done minor freelance writing work during the TEN years I have been home. I got married while in college, had one job using my degree, and then I’m barefoot and pregnant! What a throwback – June Cleaver tries to get a job!
I know I’ll write a blog about it!

P.S. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

The More Things Change, the More Things Change.

Here we go again. Another summer has come and gone. Here we are again together.
This summer was, um, not the same. My nine-year-old, while, at times, was pleased as punch to hang at the beach or at home with the Wii, was for the most part: over it. He and his brother (who is six and still all in for a summer home at Camp Mommy) fought like Armageddon.
It took me until the end of the summer to realize that, uh oh, Mommy’s not happy either.
Bummer. I’ve always loved summer and have mourned its passing. I’ve seen the start of the school year as the death sentence of fun. This year I welcomed it as the return of my sanity.
A lot of this change of heart comes from the fact that so much has changed in my Mommy Friend circle. Gina bails every summer anyway because that’s when she reconnects with her college buds and their kids. Jessica sent her kids packing to Camp Grandma most of the summer because she’s really working full-time now. Julie. She had a baby this summer and, well, ya, know. It’s like she got the card in Candy Land that sends your little plastic player back to the start of the board. There are no more of that kind of card in the deck for me.
Without those girls around for distraction and support, the summer lost a little luster.
So. Here I am again at the beginning of another school year with no work and no prospects. But, I am hopeful. Big changes are about. Or maybe small ones. God has given me no choice but to fully rely on Him and rely on Him I will.

The Church Crawl

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a mother in search of summer soul enrichment for her children must be in want of an awesome Vacation Bible School.
Let me admit that I was, a bit, well, put off by the idea of “The Church Crawl” as my friend Kimmie so um, eloquently phrased it.
She sent out an all-call to the stay-at-homers out there who are looking for a summer activity (relief) that is fun, inexpensive, and not staffed by bored teenagers. Vacation Bible Schools, for the most part, fit that bill. My kids are already signed up for VBS at our church but I volunteer for it each year so…you know…nothing’s getting done that week.
SO. I am going to check out the Church Crawl roster after all. I guess I felt like it was something one just didn’t do. I am so backwards sometimes (hey, my butt looks great in these jeans!). I guess I just felt like I was taking advantage or something – using a church as babysitter. However, I realized that, like a lot of folks, I am trying to find gainful employment and that having the kids home all summer is going to prove to be an impediment to that search. In my case (and in Kimmie’s case for that matter), funds are slim and her suggestions are a thoughtful and well researched. My kids will be shepherded around a church (of our same faith) for a few hours doing crafts, playing games, and learning about how much God loves them while I get some stuff done. Where in my brain did I find something distasteful in this equation?